Diversity in Contemporary Families
\n\u201cAsian Interviews\u201d
\nInterview with Ms. Georgia Yuan
\nInstructor: Georgia can you start off by telling us why you wanted to do this video tape
\nGeorgia: I\u2019ve lived in Pullman a long time, about 18 years, and it\u2019s a small community, not very racially diverse and I think I\u2019ve always felt a little isolated here in terms of being part of an Asian American community. I\u2019ve always been, before we came here, in much larger cities with active Asian American communities and the support services I think you get used to just because of people being around, a sense of being normal, of just being part of the population, nobody looks at you differently, they don\u2019t pick you out of a crowd and living here for a long time you always feel like you\u2019re unique. People recognize me after they\u2019ve met me once because they remember me as the Chinese person they just met. So part of me wanting to share with your students and with others is a sense of almost obligation to help teach people about what it means to bring diversity to a community like this. We\u2019ve had a lot of discussions, I think, in Pullman and in Moscow of late about making the populations more diverse and I guess I always find the conversations almost funny because I think they miss the key point that it\u2019s not really a very welcoming community to people of color, there\u2019s not enough critical mass, people are singled out, they are looked upon differently. I think there is a lot of questioning of people, which is rude and nobody recognizes that or realizes that what they\u2019re doing is rude. I have to say for as long as I\u2019ve lived here and I\u2019ve never escaped people asking me where I\u2019m from. I remember when I first took my job in Moscow I had been here for eight years and people would ask me where I was from and I thought going to the University they thought I was from someplace else because it\u2019s very common in the university setting to come from another part of the country and I would say, oh, no I\u2019m from Pullman, I\u2019ve lived here for a long time I\u2019m just working here now for the first time.
\nThey would say, oh, but you didn\u2019t grow up in Pullman and the implicit message there is that people who look Chinese don\u2019t grow up in Pullman, or people that look foreign to the average \u201cAmerican\u201d don\u2019t grow up in Pullman and that\u2019s not true and that\u2019s a myth and that\u2019s part of what makes it uncomfortable for people, I think who are part of what we now have come to view as diversity in our community. There was a time that I would tell people that I was from Mars in my more rebellious stage of this whole process, I got really tired of people asking me where I was from. Also, though, as I\u2019ve grown with it I feel an obligation to educate people and if I really sense that someone is interested in being educated, that they\u2019re not just trying to create a link, you know most often when people ask you where you\u2019re from they want to tell you that they\u2019ve been to China, that\u2019s really what\u2019s going on, they don\u2019t want to know about you, they want you to know about them and they\u2019re looking for a common link and so that\u2019s what they\u2019re looking for and I don\u2019t blame them, but race is the first thing that they react to, they don\u2019t talk to you about, did we go to law school together or I have a sister who\u2019s also a lawyer, people don\u2019t look for those commonalities, but when it comes to race and \u201cforeign-ness\u201d, they will ask you commonalities about China and say, I just went to China last month and this is what I did and they want to know if you speak Chinese.
\nI think it is like water torture. It\u2019s like your whole life you spend answering the same questions and I think they\u2019re constant your whole life. I used to think that they would grow out of them, but they don\u2019t and I don\u2019t think I go by a month in this community that someone doesn\u2019t ask me where I\u2019m from, what I\u2019m doing here, whether I like it and I\u2019ve learned to be pretty honest with the fact that, it\u2019s home to me, I like it and my children were born here, I like my job and I enjoy it, but it\u2019s not what I consider to be a truly multi-cultural community or one that\u2019s prepared to be truly multi-cultural.
\nThrough my work I\u2019m involved with a lot of sort of diversity efforts or defining diversity efforts and I\u2019m very careful to say to people, you know the only reason you\u2019re asking me do to this is because I\u2019m not a white woman, or a white man for that matter and if I was an able white man you wouldn\u2019t ask me to do this, it\u2019s just because I\u2019m another woman that you feel comfortable even asking me to work on diversity issues, you know, I\u2019m the attorney for the University but it has nothing to do with what you want me to do. I also speak up when people want to do what I call coloring committees, they just want to put people who are of different colors on committees, and so all of that for me is part of an educational process for myself as well as others. I think if people really want to learn I\u2019m always willing to share, I think it\u2019s important that we understand each other, but I really don\u2019t like it when people talk to me and part of getting to know me is very much based on their perception of your foreign-ness, I find that really objectionable. I know I probably do it to other people in other contexts, you know I have to recognize that we\u2019re all stuck in that paradigm in many ways, it\u2019s part of our culture as American citizens, but it\u2019s something I think we would really be better off changing.
\nInstructor: So, Georgia, what kinds of things do you think can be done to sort of make a difference in what you\u2019re saying, to make it a more welcoming environment so people are not asking these kinds of offensive questions without even knowing it, or so we can reach a level of real cultural proficiency where people feel comfortable
\nGeorgia: Sometimes when I lecture I use a picture that showed up on Sports Illustrated shortly after Kristi Yamaguchi won the gold and it\u2019s a picture of her in her skating outfit and it says American takes the gold and it\u2019s just this picture of Kristi Yamaguchi and I use it to illustrate that it doesn\u2019t say Japanese American wins the gold, it doesn\u2019t even use her name, it just says American and for some people I think it\u2019s hard to perceive of her as American. I remember the sports coverage was all about how she and this other Japanese-Japanese skater were in competition and how unusual this was that this young girl who was Japanese American was having to compete against the country of her ancestry and we don\u2019t begin to recognize in our society and in our culture that we don\u2019t have a facial definition for Americans, we in fact don\u2019t look alike and until we as a society, I think, have the language for, have the experience for, have the conversations about the fact that I am an American and I don\u2019t have to say that I\u2019m a Chinese American, I don\u2019t have to say that I\u2019m Asian American, but I am an American as much as anybody else who looks like a European American, we\u2019ve got a big barrier, because it\u2019s the foreign-ness of people that creates the division and for Black American I think it\u2019s merely race and I think that\u2019s a very separate history, but I think for Asian Americans it\u2019s really the foreign look that causes people to want to explore your foreign-ness as opposed to explore your American-ness or even how you feel about it. I do a lot of work over the phone and I introduce myself and I remember
\npicking up the phone one day and having the voice on the other end tell me that I mispronounced my name.
\nShe just said, if you\u2019re Chinese, you\u2019re pronouncing your name incorrectly and I didn\u2019t know what to do with it and I finally said, well, you can pronounce it however you want to, but this is how I pronounce it and I thought this woman was so eager to talk about her understanding of my name as a Chinese word that she couldn\u2019t accept it as another American name like we would accept Johnson or Smith or some other name that came from England or Ireland or Germany and it\u2019s those sorts of differences, that like I said, it\u2019s like water torture, over the course of one\u2019s life they hit you in different ways and they erode who you are.
\nI guess I feel very, very fortunate that my parents don\u2019t suffer from lack of self-esteem, that they came to this country as proud immigrants, they came here for education, to take the best of what there was from the United States and leave, to get their education and go home and through a series of political action in China they never went back but as a result of that they are very self-assured people who know who they are and are very comfortable with who they are and who don\u2019t really pay attention to racism. I think they know it\u2019s inherent in what happens to them, but they also feel like that\u2019s somebody else\u2019s problem it\u2019s not their problem. I think having grown up with parents who have that attitude, it became much easier to process, all of the oddness of the Civil Rights movement of the 60\u2019s as a teenager and to come into my own being as someone who felt confident enough to move in circles that are mostly male and mostly white and not to worry about the things that people ask and say. Again I think it\u2019s the reason why I\u2019m willing to talk to your students on this tape because I think that people need to realize that while actually in the United States today 75% of Asian Americans are in fact foreign born that\u2019s not the first thing that most people are reacting to when they\u2019re presenting themselves. I certainly don\u2019t have a vision of myself all the time in front of me, but I\u2019m very conscious when someone is reacting to me as a foreigner and it is tiring. I think numbers has a lot to do with it.
\nThe place I feel most comfortable is Hawaii, it\u2019s the most for Asian Americans, it is the most Asian without being Asian, it is the most multi-culturally Asian place and it\u2019s western without being European and it\u2019s Asian without being foreign and I think it\u2019s a wonderful blending of cultures, besides the weather of course.
\nInstructor: You\u2019ve talked a little bit about some of the visual images and the problems that people have with seeing someone that\u2019s foreign born and sort of latching onto that and reacting to that. One of the texts the students are reading talks about having to handle those visual images in advance before you even try to move beyond that in a course of cultural understanding. Do you have any suggestions for how the students might handle those visual images more successfully to make that process more comfortable for everybody involved
\nGeorgia: Are you talking about just not reacting to what you see in people
\nInstructor: Yeah, I\u2019m a little bit concerned that the students might be getting some mixed messages in the sense that on the one hand we\u2019re being confronted with a wave of sort of ethnic re-identification where people are really reclaiming their roots and taking justifiable pride in that and on the other hand there\u2019s this need to look past that and as you said say,
\nyou\u2019re an American and the rest is more secondary and I\u2019m wondering how we balance those two in ways that are productive
\nGeorgia: For me personally, it\u2019s context. If you and I were to sit down and have dinner together it would not be offensive to me for you to express an interest in my cultural background and I would hope that it wouldn\u2019t be offensive to you if I were to ask you similar questions. Earlier tonight you said you had been here for two years and so I asked you where you had moved from, with no assumptions about anything that you would say and no disappointment either over anything that you would say. So it\u2019s an honest exchange of our interest in each other as human beings. That to me is pure, that\u2019s very comfortable. I think the hard part is when people are not in fact interested in each other, they\u2019re interested in each other as a culture, or as a thing, or as a student. I think we all know it as kids, when we were younger people would always say, what grade are you in, or my how you\u2019ve grown and as a child instantly thinks this adult is not interested in me, this adult is interested in my representation of a child, in my representation of a younger person and you pick up that insincerity. But if an adult had approached you as a child and said, I really like your jeans, tell me where you got them, or I heard that you go to this school and that you\u2019re interested in art, tell me what interests you about art. It would be a way of approaching a relationship with that child that the child would understand that you really are interested in them as individuals and I think that\u2019s where we\u2019re lost in this cultural war, this cross cultural, multi-cultural issue. We have failed to start looking at each other as individuals interested in each other just for the sake of having relationships, real one on one relationships, instead we\u2019re looking at each other as colors, we\u2019re looking at each other as either a woman or a man, we\u2019re looking at each other as representative of something, but not at the person. I think if you\u2019re interactions are all at that level they\u2019re draining and tiresome because after a while I feel like I\u2019m supposed to educate you about something you want to know about, but there\u2019s nothing in it for me because we\u2019re not having a relationship, I\u2019m just here to kind of give you a story and so it\u2019s unsatisfying over the long term.
\nI still do it, I still put myself in that position where I\u2019m representing something for some people, I still volunteer in fact, to work on diversity issues and
\nto do these explanations for people because I know that a lot of people have their heart in the right place and they really do want to understand that they really are lost, they really have not had an opportunity to merely meet someone and get to know them one on one without first confronting the race or cultural background of that other person and that\u2019s unfortunate. I think when you grow up as the minority in this country you get over that as a child, as a child you\u2019re constantly reminded that you\u2019re of another culture and you have a different cultural background, you learn about it and you process it and so you\u2019re not as needy about the other.
\nSometimes I berate myself as an adult in this community for not being more involved and welcoming foreign students to my home in some kind of friendship program or something and then I look at my life and think I struggle everyday with cross cultural issues in my own family just through the result of being married to someone who\u2019s not Asian American and we confront those things intellectually and emotionally constantly and I think I\u2019m just plain exhausted, I don\u2019t think I really want to go the next step because I\u2019m not prepared to give as much as I think it\u2019s necessary to give to keep that conversation
\ngoing. So, it\u2019s hard. This year for the first time we agreed to host a 14 year old student from Pullman\u2019s sister city in Japan and she lived with us for about four or five days. I think when she first met us at home I think she was surprised that I was Asian because that\u2019s not what she was expecting. She was coming to the United States for a cross cultural experience and she was not expecting an Asian person. So, I don\u2019t know how she processed it because we didn\u2019t have enough language to understand how she processed it.
\nI think that\u2019s part of it, of becoming a multi-cultural nation is us ourselves recognizing that while we constantly embrace new immigrants to our country we have to have a place for those of us who are no longer immigrants but for whom the American experience is who we are and we are as much a part of it as anyone.
\nInstructor: As the students work through this course and start this process of cultural understanding, can you give them any pieces of advice as they get started
\nGeorgia: I think the thing that I remember when I was in college and was beginning to process an identity was feeling angry about not being heard. So, I assume that\u2019s a pretty natural reaction. Being spoken for instead of being able to speak oneself and being empowered to speak is difficult. On the other hand I think we need to empower white people to talk about race. I think we have both problems right now where the debate is. We need to be able to learn to let non-white people speak for themselves and their own experience, we\u2019re not very good at listening yet and hearing what is being said and then we\u2019re also not very good at letting white people speak from their perspective about race.
\nI think that\u2019s a real struggle. I think it takes an honest depth of relationship, one on one, before we achieve real change. A lot is to be said, I mean, I\u2019m a lawyer, a lot is to be said for changes in laws and institutional regulations and for trying to change society through regulation and through policy, but when it comes to internalizing these ideas and when it comes to really eradicating racism from our culture I\u2019m starting to believe, I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m there yet, but I\u2019m starting to believe it really is each individual, one on one has to take responsibility for what you think, what you say, what you do, what you tolerate and if you speak up for a friend, stand up for someone who\u2019s being mistreated because of the color of their skin or because of an assumption that someone makes about them or you don\u2019t listen to a racially biased joke, each one of those acts is an act of kindness and moving in a direction that helps us become a more multi-cultural nation.
\nFamily: Interview with Dr. Aniket Joshi and Dr. Sarita Joshi\u201d
\nInstructor: Aniket maybe you can start off by telling us under what circumstances you first came to this country and what you\u2019re doing here now
\nAniket: Before coming to the United States, in India I finished my residency in pediatrics, I finished medical school and I really came here to learn something more, basically putting it very simply and the way I went about it was to take an exam and that exam is required of all foreign medical graduates and once you clear that exam and you come to the United States\u2026what I did was, I went through a residency in pediatrics in Chicago. Right now I\u2019m
\nin Los Angeles doing a fellowship, taking care of very sick kids, the fellowship is called the pediatric critical care fellowship.
\nInstructor: Do you have any idea at this point whether you\u2019re going to be staying on in this country
\nAniket: That situation is kind of fluid, so I\u2019m not sure about that right now. I still have a year and a half to go and I think I\u2019ll make my decision then.
\nInstructor: Has that uncertainty about whether or not you\u2019re going to be staying or going back to India caused you any difficulties I know you\u2019re the parent of an almost three year old and has that sort of uncertainty about whether you\u2019re going to be staying here or going back to India had any impact on the way that you\u2019re raising your son here in this country
\nAniket: Not really. I don\u2019t think that has come up as a factor in raising my son, but the uncertainty of where I will be in one and a half years definitely has forced me to think about a couple of issues as far as making up my mind goes, because I need to make up my mind as soon as possible because I cannot keep on switching back and forth and being in India and the US because that would not make any sense for my son, he would be very confused.
\nInstructor: Let\u2019s talk a little bit about when you first came to this country, what kind of adjustment process do you think you went through when you first arrived in Chicago
\nAniket: First was the adjustment to the cold, but adjustments by and large that I made when I first came into the US can be broadly divided into just adjustments to daily life and adjustments toward work. The adjustments to daily life are ones which any foreigner would encounter in any land, namely the way you dress, the way you speak, your way of greeting people, that\u2019s also so different. The other adjustment of course is that you lead a really independent life here, you really do everything yourself and you really have to do everything yourself as opposed to in India where there was all family members around and the work kinds of gets distributed. On the work front I think the most important factor which I really had to adjust to was that I really need to change the way I speak in order for my message to get conveyed. Even the way you construct your sentence, the way you use your words goes a long way in really conveying your message. I used to talk very fast and that made problems worse I think because people really didn\u2019t understand what I was talking about, I have an accent is one thing, the diction is different and if I talked fast it was a total mess.
\nSo, I really had to change the way I spoke and also the way I arranged my sentences, and I really understood that when I dealt with people in my workplace they really made things simple when they wanted to convey a message, for example, are you all set, in normal circumstances I would have said are you ready to do something, are you all set was a very different thing, but it conveys a meaning right away, so these are a couple of things I needed to change at the workplace. Also, I had to adjust to what I do and what my profession is because my profession back home is more diagnosis oriented where here it is
\nmore service oriented, so I undertook a lot of change in the way I did that, but these were by and large the more important adjustments I had to make that I can think of right now.
\nInstructor: Did you find any of that adjustment particularly difficult, any of that that you really struggled with
\nAniket: Mainly the adjustment of understanding people, what they really want from you and how they say it, putting this picture together has taken me some time. The other domestic adjustment is doing everything on your own and getting used to these things and also adjusting your workplace took a little working, but that I had expected.
\nInstructor: Are there differences that you\u2019ve noticed in your move from Chicago to Los Angeles in the way that people deal with diversity here that\u2019s made it either easier or harder for you
\nAniket: Well, luckily both Los Angeles and Chicago are two very big cities and diversity is easily accepted, so I really have no way of comparing it to a small town. But, people in Los Angeles have much more of a relaxed lifestyle I would say and it\u2019s less hierarchical, I think. Also, three years in Chicago had prepared me a lot as to going about things in the United States and hence it was easier for me in Los Angeles than it had been in Chicago. Now that I think back retrospectively I probably shouldn\u2019t have done a few things here and there, said a couple of things here and there, which I\u2019ve adjusted to.
\nInstructor: You have a three year old who is sitting here now, and he was born in this country. Has having a child in this country, have you thought about any of the differences in the way that maybe you parent him here then if he had been born in India, have there been differences that you\u2019ve noticed
\nAniket: Yeah. Well, I haven\u2019t had a child in India, so it\u2019s very difficult to compare. But, if I had to kind of think about the problem as to how I would have brought him up in India it would have been a little different. Right now, I think I have a major part to play in the day to day activities in taking care of him, for example dropping him off at daycare, bringing him back, feeding him, giving him a bath, reading to him, explaining things. I really need to take the time out, I have to because there is no other solution. In India, it would have been different because these things would have been taken care of because there would have been family around and other relatives around. So, this is the most important way, I think, he would have been brought up in India as opposed to here.
\nInstructor: If you stay in this country, as he gets older do you think that will become more of an issue for you as a parent, the differences that might happen in parenting in India versus here
\nAniket: Well, I think that I will have to continue contributing a certain amount of time every day, so that he gets the best out of what I can give. That\u2019s why I think I need to be more creative, if I stay back, I need to be more creative in how I can challenge his thoughts and energies, and it\u2019s really a big responsibility, which might not have that much of a role in
\nIndia because there are so many people who are doing it for you, but here you have to do it on your own. Not that I wouldn\u2019t have done that in India, I definitely would have done that, but I would have been sort of relieved, okay fine some things are on autopilot, some things are taken care of and I don\u2019t have to worry about it. Here I think that apart from doing my job and my work responsibilities I would definitely have to make an active effort of taking some time and doing these things for him.
\nInstructor: On a more general note, what do you think the biggest difference between living in India and living in this country is for you
\nAniket: I think living here you are really more aware of your senses than back home. Here because of the intense competition demands from your work are very high, to have a high level of comfort you really have to be aware of the things around you to get the most out of them. I think that\u2019s one of the most important differences between living here and living in India. Not that you take many things for granted in India, you do sometimes, but you do that here sometimes too, but the pressures are lower in India because it\u2019s your home country, here you want to prove something, like I said the accountability, the demands are different. I think you kind of tune yourself up to a higher level.
\nInstructor: On a personal level have you experienced any discrimination in this country based on you culture
\nAniket: There have been occasions you can say where certain preferences\u2026if I were to be compared with an American probably I was not given a preference, but that was an afterthought and I think that is to be expected frankly because people from the same country are more comfortable with each other, unless they have already established a report. Personally though, I did not experience any gross over discrimination, I think on the contrary, everybody has been extremely nice to me and I have had equal opportunities probably as many as Americans. One thing that is distinctly different than what I was used to back home is the lack of news on a worldwide scale. When I first came here it was all local news all the time and I did not really know how to get information on a more worldwide basis and that\u2019s really one of the things that I was really used to until of course I found public television and the internet, which is a source of great news, but when I came I kind of had a problem adjusting to that. Also, I was really used to talking to a lot of my friends and colleagues about their political views and what they thought about what was going on in different parts of the world, but as I understood later political views of a person in the United States might be his or her own very private affair and you cannot discuss them as freely as I could back home, so that was one of the important differences and an adjustment I had to make.
\nVideo clip of Aniket & Sarita\u2019s son with his grandmother
\nSarita: I came here to acquire a higher education. I\u2019m a trained physician in India and I decided to specialize in hematology for children and that prompted me to come here. I had to take a lot of exams en route, but it was well worth it.
\nInstructor: Can you tell us a little bit about what it was like when you first arrived here
\nSarita: It was everything I thought it would be, but there were a lot of surprises too. What struck me about the United States was the space on the roads; there were so few people I didn\u2019t have to knock elbows to get around. It was difficult trying to fit in yet retain my identity.
\nInstructor: Can you talk about some of those difficulties that you had when you first arrived
\nSarita: I think I had to deal with a lot more regimental surroundings. For example, you could only cross the road when the pedestrian sign lit up and for me to acquire the discipline to wait for cars to pass by was different, but difficulties were more\u2026this was just one of the mundane aspects of it. I think the loneliness\u2026the feeling that there was crime just around the corner, I think those things were a little difficult to overcome.
\nInstructor: You talked a little bit about the struggle to retain your identity. Can you clarify that a little bit for the students, what kinds of things went on with that struggle How you dealt with it maybe
\nSarita: Part of it was just superficial, having to be a physician in a society where there was a different decorum, a different style of dress, a different demeanor that one had to portray, that was difficult to overcome because I grew up to be an adult in India, where I acquired most of my traits and I had to shed some of those…it wasn\u2019t so much difficulty in the process of doing it, but it was more difficult to realize that there were so many differences that I had to smooth out.
\nInstructor: You have a son that was born in this country. Has his birth caused you to look at your identity in new ways as far as raising him in this country
\nSarita: I think so. So far it\u2019s been issues with daycare and issues with having someone look after him and making sure he gets the kind of food I want him to get. But, it\u2019s not been too difficult in that respect. There have been advantages that I have seen in this society which I think I\u2019m very glad to have, such as having a structured daycare situation, which does not really exist as much in India. In India the daycare situation is pretty much at home, families, grandparents and stuff and that\u2019s wonderful because you acquire so much love and affection en route, but I think in a formal daycare setting there\u2019s things we gained in that way too.
\nInstructor: Would you say the challenges of motherhood are different in this country than in India
\nSarita: It\u2019s a very complicated answer. Being a working woman I have to deal with the guilt and with realizing the fact that in India I would have had many more options in terms of taking time off. The work ethic here is much different. It\u2019s more amenable to taking time off
\nfor a sick child versus not enough time to take off to be with a well child, so that\u2019s been difficult.
\nInstructor: Has it been hard for you raising him so far away from your family and the country where you grew up in
\nSarita: I think so, I really miss\u2026we had neighbors would come in, not ring the doorbell, just come in. We had friends out on the streets, my grandparents were always around, I think he definitely loses out in not having his grandparents around and his aunts and uncles, that has been different.
\nInstructor: Is it an issue for you that your son is being raised in the US instead of India; is that an issue for you in any way
\nSarita: No, I don\u2019t think so. I think being raised here versus India would not be too different. I would still want him to be a citizen of the world. There are some things that I identify with \u201cIndian-ness\u201d, which I find to be easily hacked at, those are good qualities that exist in societies all over the world, so I don\u2019t think it\u2019s different. Yes, he might not know his language, he might not know his ancient history, which I can read to him at bedtime, but I think of terms of being a person it doesn\u2019t matter where you\u2019re brought up if you have good strong values.
\nInstructor: Does he speak the language at all
\nSarita: He understands, but he doesn\u2019t speak, a few words here and there. He could speak a little more when he was younger, but I think in daycare he was feeling left out, or being left out because the teachers just couldn\u2019t comprehend what he was saying and therefore we encouraged ourselves to speak English to him so that he would understand and they would understand him.
\nInstructor: Is it an issue for you that he\u2019s not speaking the language
\nSarita: No. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s an issue for a lot of first generation immigrants or foreigners, and it\u2019s an issue for my parents, I\u2019m sure, and my aunts and uncles and I\u2019m sure it\u2019s an issue for my husband\u2019s parents. Between me and my husband, we don\u2019t think it\u2019s much of an issue.
\nInstructor: You and your husband don\u2019t speak the same language do you
\nSarita: No, we come from different\u2026I can communicate with him in his language, but I\u2019m certainly not fluent enough, it\u2019s a little different.
\nInstructor: Do you think if you stay in this country that it\u2019s going to be more of an issue for you as he gets older, him trying to deal with being tied to two different countries
\nSarita: I think being tied to two different countries has its positives. The fact that he would be comfortable in India and in the United States, I think he would be able to do that, I\u2019ve
\nseen people who do that, I don\u2019t think it would be an issue. But if he is uncomfortable in India because of the society it\u2019s an issue because it\u2019s more rigid, much more stratified, it has a little more of double standards, than yes that would be an issue for him, but for me I don\u2019t think so.
\nInstructor: What kinds of things are you doing with him to help him maintaina sense of his identity
\nSarita: Well every night we look at the photographs of his grandparents and he knows who they are, where they live, how to get there. We say our prayers in our native language, in fact those are the prayers that he feels most comforted by if he\u2019s anxious one day and maybe we\u2019ve shouted at him, when I have to reassure him and calm him down with the help of the chants. Our food is totally Indian, we have pasta on Fridays so I get a day off, but I think our food, our night rituals\u2026we have a lot of relatives in the area, we often meet with them for birthdays and we wear our Indian clothes, he has a whole set of Indian clothes, so I think in those ways and as he gets older we\u2019ll read stories to him and on the computer maybe show him thinks about India, he has a globe and he knows where India is.
\nInstructor: You mentioned certain traits that you associate with \u201cIndianness\u201d, are there any of those traits that you hope that he picks up or takes on
\nSarita: Tolerance and respect for something sacred, and I mean blind respect for the elders, I think that\u2019s something that I would like him to have.
\nInstructor: He\u2019s in daycare about three to five days a week. Is there anything you\u2019d like to share with his daycare workers or his teachers as he gets older relative to your culture In other words what would you like them to know about you as a family
\nSarita: I\u2019d like them to know that we are close knit. I\u2019d like them to know that we\u2019re vegetarians, but it\u2019s okay if he eats meat. I\u2019d like them to know that we would love to learn about the culture that exists here, we would love to share our food with them\u2026superficial things like that at this stage. Maybe one day, the Independence Day of India I\u2019d like to go over and tell the children about his country, or his families\u2019 country and maybe he could wear Indian clothes on that day, or on Halloween. I really haven\u2019t given that much thought though.
\nInstructor: Do you know yet whether you\u2019ll be staying in this country, or what lies ahead, have you thought about those things
\nSarita: We\u2019ve given it a lot of thought. It\u2019s going to be very difficult for my husband and me to go back to India and practice as physicians like we are here. The work ethic, the society, the fatalism is so different. But the reality is that we should go back and we came with the idea that we would go back. I want to go back, but I don\u2019t know the reasons for which I want to go back. If I look at it in an intellectual fashion, be it economic, be it intellectual, be it academic reasons, everything says I should stay here and I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll do better and have much more satisfaction in my job here, but I just want to goback, I don\u2019t know the reasons.
\nInstructor: Do you think your son with have any difficulty adjusting if you do move back to India
\nSarita: At this age no. We went back last year for a vacation and he had a blast. He didn\u2019t want to come back, he, I think reveled in the attention, he loved the chaos and the color. But I think as he grows older, as a teenager, I\u2019ve seen a lot of my cousins have trouble. Their parents don\u2019t want them to have boyfriends here for example because that\u2019s taboo in India and if he grows up to be a teenager here I\u2019m sure he\u2019s going to find me a much more overbearing mother when we go back. It\u2019s going to be difficult for him as a teenager if we go back, if we go back it\u2019s got to be now.
\nAssignment Instructions:
\n1. Answer the following questions:
\no Share your thoughts on the \u201cwhat would you do\u201d vignette in Lynch & Hanson\u2019s textbook (SEE BELOW). Instead of just writing up what you would do, please integrate some information about Asian American Families (e.g., values, beliefs) from the readings into your discussion (one paragraph).<\/p>\n
\u201cWHAT WOULD YOU DO\u201d<\/p>\n
Ming, a 5-year-old Chinese boy, was diagnosed with autism. His parents were originally referred to the Asian Family Services Center (AFSC; an agency with a well-established reputation for effectively serving local Chinese-speaking families with children who have developmental special needs) for parent education\/support and speech and language therapy. As recent immigrants from China, Ming\u2019s parents were very receptive to receiving services from AFSC. Ming\u2019s mother, who worked as a teacher\u2019s aide in a local public school in Chinatown, had also independently obtained additional speech and language services for her son. This included private speech therapy for which she was paying $110 per session.
\nAs had been the case with many other immigrant Chinese families with children with developmental disabilities, Ming\u2019s parents focused primarily on his speech and language delays and articulation difficulties. Although well informed of the various diagnostic characteristics of autism and their associated conditions, the parents were most concerned about Ming\u2019s ability to acquire more age-appropriate, functional speech. In fact, to further supplement the services they were receiving from AFSC and the private speech therapy, Ming\u2019s father returned to China with his son; there Ming received an 8-week series of acupuncture treatments from a specialist who was known by reputation for his expertise in treating children with speech disorders. As part of the procedure, Ming\u2019s head was shaved and various meridian points had been drawn on his scalp to Help his parents in subsequently administering the daily treatments themselves. For a follow-up treatment, Ming and his mother recently made another trip to China to revisit the acupuncturist for a 2-week period. On this occasion, Ming received acupuncture treatments with electrical stimulation. His mother purchased the relatively expensive electrical device required to generate the current in order to continue providing these advanced treatments at home; however, she has not been able to use it for lack of a special adapter that was needed to run the machine from an AC electrical outlet.
\nMing\u2019s parents obviously have gone to great lengths to address his speech and language delays. They are highly invested in fulfilling their parental \u201cobligations\u201d and doing everything possible to treat his autistic disorder by way of multiple and costly speech intervention strategies. The AFSC developmental specialist who has been working with the family is concerned about their limited financial resources and the extent to which they seem to be focusing exclusively on Ming\u2019s speech problems. The acupuncture treatments have not yielded any dramatic improvements in Ming\u2019s speech-language functioning. Moreover, his multiple problem behaviors and social skill impairments characteristic of autism are becoming increasingly stigmatic as he grows older. (Source: personal communication with N. Lim-Yee, 2003.)
\nWhat are the key considerations that must be addressed in guiding Ming\u2019s parents at this point in time
\nWhat are your views regarding the use of such alternative (and often expensive) treatments in the quest for a \u201ccure\u201d and\/or remediation of his increasingly prevalent disorder<\/p>\n
o What were your feelings as you watched the two interviews (TRANSCRIPTS OF INTERVIEWS ARE ATTACHED) How might you use this information to form respectful interaction with Asian American families (one paragraph).